


fill

by melodramatic



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Avoidant Personality Disorder, Creeks, Just a short Story, M/M, The Moon - Freeform, Therapy, but josh is a really nice guy, tyler is an odd fellow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 19:32:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11447580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodramatic/pseuds/melodramatic
Summary: tyler wasweird, and josh thought so, too.





	fill

tyler laid in the dark and stared at the faint shapes in the ceiling. he vaguely wondered if he'd ever get a break from the torturous thoughts his brain constructed. 

but, also, he didn't care.

maybe he was created this way for a purpose.

 _that_ thought made him chuckle. he had no purpose. he knew that just as well as anyone did. and the thought kind of created a hole in his heart that he needed to fill.

either he could fill the hole, or let it grow bigger and bigger until it consumed his entire heart and killed him right then and there.

he sighed and picked his phone up to type in the only number he had ever bothered to memorize. a groggy voice picked up, "hello?"

"hey, what're you up to?" tyler asked.

there was a short pause on the other line, "well, i _was_ sleeping."

"cool. wanna meet me by the creek?"

"now?"

"yeah."

"it's almost midnight."

"is that a yes or no?"

the voice on the other line sighed, and then there was rustling. he reluctantly agreed, because secretly, tyler knew that the voice on the other line would do anything for him.

and although he wasn't entirely sure why, he was sure that he was going to use that to his advantage.

"what're we doing out here?" the voice with dark blue hair asked. even out here, at night, tyler could appreciate how the moon shone down on the colored head of hair and illuminated it, as if it was saying - _here, look at this hair, this face, this person._

maybe it was saying that. maybe tyler should say something like that.

"i wanted to look at you."

"to look at me?"

"yeah."

"well," the voice kicked his foot in the grass and shivered, "here i am."

tyler said nothing. he moved a step closer.

"what do you see?" the voice asked.

"i see that you have blue hair."

he rolled his eyes despite the smirk growing on his face, "real observant, tyler."

but tyler's expression remained stone cold, "thanks."

the voice cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"what're we doing out here?" he asked again, expecting a different answer.

tyler didn't know why he expected anything. no one should expect anything. especially not out of tyler. because tyler himself wasn't anything.

he thought about the hole in his heart, and he thought about how josh seemed to fill it a little bit.

"i'm trying to fill the hole in my heart," tyler spoke. his tone was hushed like the gentle breeze that swept the leaves up around them.

josh blinked, "the hole in your heart? what does that even mean?"

tyler shrugged.

there was a silence in the air, and tyler thought the moon's light on josh suddenly got more intense.

"you're weird, you know that?" josh asked.

now it was tyler's turn to look down at his feet. 

"i know," he frowned and took a step back, "i shouldn't have woken you up. sorry."

"no," josh took a step forward, but did not reach out physically, "that's not a bad thing. you're weird in a good way."

but tyler was still frowning. maybe he was also drowning. something was filling his lungs. maybe he was dying.

"i can't help it."

"i know."

"it's not my fault."

"i know, tyler."

"you - you're making fun of me. you don't like me, do you? i shouldn't have - i should go."

before josh could say anything, tyler was sprinting back towards the direction of his home. away from socialization, away from josh, away from blue hair, and away from the moon.

he might've heard his name being called and cutting through the dark, but maybe he was just imagining it. he was _weird_ after all.

the next day, when the moon had left and the sun puffed it's chest out in victory, tyler was still laying in his bed with the blankets pulled over him.

there was a dip at the end of the bed and he shut his eyes tight, desperately hoping they'd leave.

they didn't.

"tyler, you have to get up, honey. you have therapy today," a soft voice spoke.

the thought of going into that building with all of those other people made a sick knot in tyler's stomach.

"i can't today."

his mother sighed.

"i know it's hard, but you can't just lay in bed and expect your problem to go away-"

"i don't have a _problem_ ," he mumbled through barred teeth.

"yes, tyler, you do," his mother states frankly, "and laying here isn't doing it any good. so get up, and let's go."

the dip in his bed was gone, and he heard his bedroom door shut tight.

he rolled over and checked his phone: 3 missed calls and 9 text messages. all from josh. of course. 

should he send josh a text back? maybe not. josh was probably mad at him for being so weird last night. yeah. he probably didn't want to talk to tyler. he was just checking up to be nice, like he always does.

well, tyler still grabbed his phone and shot a quick text.

_tyler: i'm fine :) sorry about last night :(_

he ignored the rapid response he got, and instead stood in front of the mirror and looked at his chest. it looked deflated. as if the hole in his heart was only getting bigger. 

he checked his phone.

_josh: you don't have to apologize. i liked seeing you :)_

_tyler: really?_

_josh: yeah, really. wanna come over today?_

so he did go over. he tended to avoid having to socialize with other people, but josh was different. especially today. he seemed a little extra understanding. 

he played video games and chatted away, at a pretty much one-sided conversation - perfectly content to let tyler sit there with his knees tucked to his chest and watch the screen flash back and forth between scenes.

tyler's mom eventually texted him and told him to be home before dinner. so he said goodbye to josh, who gave him a tight hug.

the next day, he went right back over there.

and the next day.

and the next day.

it was late at night when tyler realized that josh in fact did fill the hole in his heart. they were laying in bed and facing each otber, telling funny stories back and forth.

tyler laughed, and not only was he comfortable, but he felt welcome. and that was something he tended to struggle with.

"you fill the home in my heart, you know that?" tyler asked josh one night.

josh paused and blinked. tyler studied his every muscle twitch, and was suddenly fearful that he had just broken whatever fun atmosphere they had built. but before he could make an escape, josh smiled.

"really?"

tyler nodded.

josh placed an open palm on the small of tyler's back and pulled him closer, "you're something special, tyler joseph."

they did not kiss. tyler would not make the first move, but neither would josh.

so they slept peacefully, with their soft breaths mingling and falling down on the pillow case.

one day, josh pulled tyler close when they were alone in his room.

"i love you."

"i love you, too."

it was a beautiful moment. tyler didn't want anyone else to know about it. so he kept it a secret, along with the kiss they finally shared.

 

 

"josh, i can't - i can't do this."

"is everything okay? what happened?"

"just - hand me my shirt, please."

"okay..."

"i just don't want you to see... me."

 

 

"was it consenual?"

tyler sighed deeply and picked at a loose string on his jeans. he hated therapy.

"yes, it was consenual. i just got scared," tyler admitted, his mouth fitting into a subconscious frown.

"and why's that?"

he shrugged, even though he knew exactly why.

"were you afraid of him?"

"no."

"were you afraid of what he expected of you?"

"no."

"were you afraid of letting him see you naked?"

"i want to leave now." 

this lady didn't seem to understand. but tyler knew josh would. he always did.

 

 

"hey, it's okay," josh said, running a smooth hand over tyler's arm, "we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

tyler sighed deeply and brought his head up, "are mad at me?"

"no, of course not! why would i be mad? just because you're an adult doesn't mean you have to be ready for adult things. we can take our time."

"promise?"

"i promise."

 

 

tyler really did love josh. he wanted to give him everything and more. he couldn't exactly do that - at least not right now - but boy did he want to. 

because the voice with the blue, pink, red, yellow, black hair meant the world to him, and the way the moon illuminated him at night, when they were by the creek, really made tyler feel a certain way.

"you fill the hole in my heart," tyler whispered as they swayed to no beat at all, "i want to give you everything."

josh chuckled and kissed the side of his face, "all i need is you, ty."

"i love you, josh."

"and i love you, too."

the wind picked up, but neither of them shivered. 

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, I'm not entirely sure why I wrote this. But I hope you liked it! Comments always appreciated :)


End file.
